Hiccups
by Ramona Bandicoot
Summary: Hiccups are not the easiest thing to get rid of. -oneshot-


**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Sly Cooper characters; they belong to Sucker Punch Productions.

**Claimer:** I own all of my original characters.

_Another oneshot request. I want to thank "Patrick Cooper" for the idea and I hope you liked it! Anyway, please read and review and let me know what you think. Thanks! _

Hiccups

I hoisted myself up to the drainpipe of the apartment complex I was looking for. I was climbing quickly, trying to get to Ramona's apartment as fast as I could. She had called me, only a few minutes ago, asking me to get over to her apartment as soon as I could. She didn't go into detail, other than it was a huge emergency. I finally reached her balcony after climbing the drainpipe and shimming across the ledge of the building. I tapped on the glass and impatiently waited for her to answer. The cream colored curtains moved a moment later and Ramona's face peered from behind the glass. The door slid open and I hurried in, quickly scoping out her living room, looking for intruders. She didn't tell me what her emergency was but I wasn't about to take any chances. After I was sure everything was safe, I turned to the raccoon and quickly looked her over; making sure she was unharmed. She looked fine, no scratches or anything. So what was her emergency?

"What's the matter?" I gently grabbed her shoulders, looking into her eyes, waiting to find out what the matter was.

"I can't _hick_ get rid of my hiccups." She said simply before squeaking with the said hiccups.

"Hiccups?" I asked, "That's the reason I rushed out here in the middle of the night? I thought you were being attacked! How are hiccups an emergency?" she shook her head and pulled away from my grasp before seating herself on the couch.

"They're not really, but I knew _hick _you wouldn't get here that fast if I told you it was simply hiccups. I've had them for over an hour _hick _and I can't take it anymore! I've tried everything imaginable and they won't go away. You've got to _hick_ help me out here!" she let out a squeaky _hick_ everything a hiccup escaped her lips and I had to admit, they were annoying to have once you've caught them.

"Alright," I sat beside her, "What have you tried?" she sat sideways, facing me, and sat Indian style. She picked at her toenails as we talked and rocked occasionally.

"Everything I can think _hick_ of! Well except scaring. I can't really scare _hick_ myself." Her hiccups were high pitched and squeaky and it didn't take long for me to realize why she wanted them gone.

"Then I'll scare you." She shook her head and shifted her bangs.

"I'll expect it _hick_ if you do it! It won't work if _hick_ that happens," I nodded and she hiccupped again. I needed to find a way to scare her without her knowing what I was up to, "But I'm going out of my mind! You've got to help me get _hick_ rid of these hiccups! I'm exhausted but these hiccups keep me _hick_ from sleeping!" she did look exhausted and it was apparent she had been asleep when her case of the hiccups had started. She was dressed in her pajamas, nothing more than a pair of shorts and a tank top, and her hair was done up in a sloppy bun instead of her usual ponytail.

"Alright," I said as I turned to face her, "Let's start with the simple stuff," she nodded, "Try holding your breath." She nodded again, took a deep breath, and held it. I waited for her to release her breath and hoped this would get rid of her hiccups. Late night hiccups were bad enough and the fact it was already two in the morning, I was ready to go to bed myself. She released her breath and we both waited to see if her hiccups were still there.

"You see," I said when everything was quiet, "never doubt the simple techniques." I smiled and she simply replied with another _hick_, "Okay then, try drinking some water." again, she nodded and stood. Ramona trotted into her kitchen and the sound of running water quickly filled my ears. She came back, with a glass of water in her paws, and sipped it as she sat back down next to me on the couch.

"Did it work?" I asked as she held the glass on her leg.

"Nope _hick_." I sighed and rubbed my chin in thought. She ran her finger around the rim of the glass and sighed, "Are you sure this is going to work?"

"It'll work eventually, pretty lady, it'll work eventually." I winked and quickly nudged the bottom of her chin with my finger, "Alright, new idea…try drinking water and holding your breath at the same time." She sighed again and did what I told her. She swallowed and held her breath for a while until she had to come back for a fresh breath. She shook her head and hiccupped again.

"Got anymore _hick_ ideas?" she asked after gently putting her glass on the coffee table in front of her couch.

"Yeah, try hanging upside down for a little while. That might do it." She nodded and turned upside down, hanging the upper half of her body over the edge of the couch. I watched as she hung upside down and used her arms to keep her shirt from riding up.

"This isn't _hick_ helping, Sly." She groaned after a while.

"Alright, new plan, stay upside down but hold your breath. And if that doesn't work try hanging upside down, holding your breath, and drinking some water."

"Sure," she muttered before sucking in another lungful of air. We waited while Ramona held her breath, but just like all the other tried, she hiccupped again, "This isn't going to work _hick_, Cooper. I'm going to be stuck like _hick_ this."

"Have confidence, Ramona. Try doing the same thing you just did but drink water with it." She pulled herself up, grabbed her water, sipped it, and went upside down once again. She let out another loud _hick_ a moment later and she sat back up. She groaned loudly and slumped on the couch.

"Well, it's obvious holding your breath and drinking water isn't going to work, so we need a new idea." I sat and thought and she simply jumped and hiccupped every once in a while, "Alright, we need to get you laughing." She knitted her eyebrows together and turned to face me again.

"Laughing? What's _hick_ laughing going to do to get rid _hick_ of my hiccups?" I gave her a wide smiled and I could tell she was suspicious. I reached over and brushed over her sides, one of the most sensitive ticklish spot, she swatted my paws away.

"Don't you do it _hick_, Sly, don't you _hick_ do it!" I brushed over her sides again and again. She squirmed and a smile came across her face, "Knick it off, Sly! This _hick_ isn't working! Stop it!" she was laughing harder and harder the more my fingers danced on her sides. I had pulled her closer to me, to where she practically sitting in my lap, and tickled her, getting her to laugh and hoping her hiccups would disappear. And if they didn't, well, this was still fun. She eventually pulled away and swatted at me playfully.

"Did it work?" she shook her head and hiccupped again. We both sighed in frustration and Ramona trotted into the kitchen, carrying the glass of water with her. She dumped it in the sink and started going through her fridge. It was absolutely silent and if I could sneak up on her, then I might be able to scare her and get rid of her annoying hiccups. I stood from the couch, using my thieving skills to sneak up behind her silently. She had taken a soda from the fridge and got ready to open it when I quickly grabbed her sides. She jumped with a scream and scurried away until her back hit the fridge.

"What was that for?" she yelled, placing her paw on her chest in an attempt to regulate her breathing.

"I told you I could scare you," I said with a laugh, "So are they gone?"

"No! But you managed _hick_ to scare away my _hick_ heartbeat!" I laughed myself as she continued to jump with her hiccups. She carried her can of soda to the couch and sat. I sat next to her and sighed. I was completely out of ideas on what to do about her hiccups. We sat in silence, with the exceptions of Ramona's constant, squeaky _hicks_.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"What time is it?" I asked groggily. We had given up a while ago and couldn't think of anymore ideas on what to do with her hiccups.

"Four _hick _in the morning." she groaned as she shifted. I groaned again and yawned. I was slumped on her couch, with my feet propped up on the coffee table in front of me and one arm behind my head as a makeshift pillow. My other arm was wrapped around Ramona's waist. She had leaned against me and stretched her legs out on the couch, using my body as a pillow. We had been trying for two hours to get rid of her hiccups, but she still had them. Neither of us could sleep since every few moments a loud, squeaky _hick_ erupted form the small thief. We were both exhausted and ready for sleep, but again, her stupid hiccups prevented us from doing so. She pulled away from me briefly to drink at the soda she had gotten earlier. She burped and excused herself before resting her head back on my chest. I sighed deeply and listened as we sat in utter silence. A few moments passed when I realized something.

"Hey, Ramona," I nudged her gently and she looked up to me, "Listen. Do you hear that?" she listened briefly and shook her head.

"I don't hear anything," I smiled and nodded and she soon caught on, "They're gone! My hiccups are gone!" it must have been the burp that had popped the air bubble that was stuck in her throat, the cause of her hiccups.

"They're gone!" she repeated before pulling me into a hug. She kissed my cheek before pulling away.

"It's about time"! I exclaimer, "Now we can get some _hick_ sleep. Oh no…" I groaned when the hiccups started with me. Great, now I had them.

"Try holding your breath." Ramona muttered. Now we had to sit through another trial of trying to rid of the hiccups only this time, I was the one with the hiccups.


End file.
